I recently got back from a trip to Kosovo to visit my now fiancée’s family (more on that in a moment). Kosovo is located in southeastern Europe in the heart of the Balkans (east of Italy across the Adriatic sea). The country declared its independence in 2008, about a decade after the 1998-1999 Kosovo War involving the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia.
I enjoyed the trip for a host of reasons, but mostly because it exposed me to a completely different culture. Though I was able to learn some of the language (Albanian) before my trip, I found that some ideas didn’t always translate.
For example, in Kosovo there is a deep belief in respect and reputation that goes far beyond money. Since Kosovo is a smaller country, social networks tend to be more interconnected compared to large metropolises like New York City. As a result, how you treat others is incredibly important and social interactions carry far more weight. Let me explain with a story.
One night I visited a restaurant called Te Muja in the heart of Pristina, Kosovo’s capital. Te Muja isn’t like your typical restaurant. There is no menu, you have to call ahead to get a table, and the owner doesn’t care about maximizing profits. In fact, the owner doesn’t care what you think about him at all. He says whatever comes to his mind, bordering on disrespect at times.
For example, a group of guys walked into Te Muja without calling ahead and the owner promptly told them to leave. Apparently this group hadn’t visited the restaurant in over 2 years and the owner felt disrespected by this. He told them something along the lines of, “This isn’t a train station where you can show up anytime you want.” Though the restaurant wasn’t even half full, the owner would rather turn away customers than feel slighted. Te Muja is his kingdom and he runs it as he sees fit.
This is such a foreign concept in the U.S. where making money tends to take priority. If a typical restaurant owner in the U.S. had three unannounced patrons, they would be delighted to seat them, if they could. But not here.
Of course, this isn’t true of most restaurants in Kosovo, but it’s true with some of them. There are a handful of places like Te Muja where the owner runs the show and demands respect for their way of doing things. For example, the owner might get drunk while serving you. They might kick you out if you say something they don’t like. You could offer them thousands of Euros for a table and still not get one. For them, respect and reputation are more important than money. There are some things you can’t buy.
You might wonder how places like this stay in business, but the answer is obvious once you’ve dined there—the food is incredible. The best steak I had in Kosovo was at Te Muja. This explains why the restaurant has regulars that keep coming back despite the eccentricities of its owner.
Years ago if you had told me about this dynamic I wouldn’t have understood it. Why would anyone turn away a willing customer? Why would anyone give up free money? But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to see things differently.
When you’re young the one thing that you generally don’t have is money. You can’t travel the whole world because of money. You can’t buy a house because of money. On and on. As a result, it’s easy to overly focus on money. This is what I did throughout my 20s. I emphasized accumulation.
But, once you start to have some money, your priorities change. You can say no to things that you wouldn’t have said no to before. You can make better choices. You can think more long-term. Ultimately, you can leave money on the table to maximize other metrics.
For the owner of Te Muja, those other metrics are respect and autonomy. For you, they might be something else. I have family members who have given up money and a more promising career to have more control over their time. I’ve seen friends do the same to be with their families. I don’t think any of these choices are right or wrong, they merely represent a series of tradeoffs.
The question is: are the tradeoffs you are making today appropriate for you? Is your attention focused on the right things? Are you maximizing your wealth at the expense of your health, your family, or your time?
With Bitcoin, U.S. stocks, and many other asset classes hitting new all-time highs, it’s easy to get caught up with what’s happening in financial markets. There is an overwhelming sense of FOMO that can make you feel like you need to make a change. Trust me, I’ve been there before.
But, what you may have failed to notice is how little these events will actually impact your life in the long run. How much will the price of Bitcoin today affect your life in 20 years? What about Nvidia? How about gold? The answer is practically nothing. A rounding error at best.
But do you know what will impact your life in 20 years? How you spend your time, how your treat your body, and who you spend your time with.
With that being said, last weekend I got engaged and then threw a surprise party for my fiancée, Fifi. I rented a private room at the bar where we had our first date and invited a bunch of our friends and family. It was incredible.
Most weeks I care about what’s happening in markets. But, this week, I couldn’t care less. Bitcoin and the S&P can have their all-time highs. I’ll be busy focusing on the things you can’t buy.
Thank you for reading!
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This is post 425. Any code I have related to this post can be found here with the same numbering: https://github.com/nmaggiulli/of-dollars-and-data
